Sunday, 31 August 2014
Don't say goodbye, say so long.
Yesterday was a big day for this family.
A few weeks ago, I mentioned that Ryan had joined the military. Yesterday, he left for basic training.
As we spent our last day together, I felt a huge range of emotions (and I'm a very emotional person in normal circumstances so as you can imagine, I was a bit of a wreck).
Fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the known. Fear of being without my better half for too long, which will most definitely lead to too much of my crazy showing. Fear of having to do everything by myself. Fear of what he will experience while living in a strange place with strange people.
Sadness. I missed Ryan the second he left. It will be about a month before we see each other again and that seems like an eternity to me (especially when I'm trying to put four children to bed by myself). I miss him when I wake up and when I go to bed and pretty much every minute in between. Things seems strangely empty without him around.
Pride. It takes a lot of courage to go after the things that you want. Especially when that involves trading everything that you know for push ups and military style sheet tucking. He's making a lot of sacrifices but we both know that in the long run, it will all be worth it. He is the bravest person I know (I feel queazy just thinking about doing something like that) and I couldn't be more proud of him.
Excitement. About what the future holds for us. About this adventure we're starting. About learning to take the garbage out and handle the bills all by myself!
And as I watched him drive away in his lime green beetle (he won't get made fun of for that, right?) and all I could think about was drowning my sorrows in a tub of Baskin Robins ice cream, I thought about all the families that have done this (and so much more) before us. So many families have sent loved ones away farther and for longer. Sometimes there is no communication for months. Sometimes they send their mothers or fathers to countries filled with danger, not knowing if or when they'll see each other again. And somehow, they've all survived.
I have so much respect for these families...for the sacrifices they've made and the strength they've shown. I've been lucky enough to know a few and I am so in awe of how they do it all.
Maybe I can be a little stronger too.
I'm sure there will still be many tears and I may have already eaten 24$ worth of junk food in one sitting...but I know that we are all going to be okay.
So remind me of that the next time you see me blubbering over another lonely Friday night, will you please?
Linking up with The Homeschool Mother's Journal and looking forward to following other Mother's journeys.